


A Glimpse into the Past

by Orrymain



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Slash, Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-22
Updated: 2003-11-22
Packaged: 2019-03-16 15:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orrymain/pseuds/Orrymain
Summary: Daniel faces his past after having a roll of film developed from his childhood.





	A Glimpse into the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Boy / Michael Shanks](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Boy_Fanfiction_Archive), wand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Boy / Michael Shanks collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theboymichaelshanks/profile).

A Glimpse into the Past

### A Glimpse into the Past

#### by Orrymain

Date Archived: 11/22/03  
Website:   
Status: Complete  
Category: Drama, Story, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Relationship, Slash  
Characters/Pairings: Col. Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson     Jack/Daniel         
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers:   
Permission to archive:   
Series:   
Notes:   
Warnings:   
Disclaimer:   
Summary: Daniel faces his past after having a roll of film developed from his childhood.   


* * *

A Glimpse into the Past  
Author: Orrymain  
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html Category: Slash, H/C of the mental kind, Romance, Established Relationship Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D Rating: PG-13  
Season: 2  
Spoilers: None  
Size: 23kb, short story  
Written: November 5-6,8, 2003   
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally! Summary: Daniel faces his past after having a roll of film developed from his childhood. Notes:   
1) This story stands alone, but is a follow up to my fic "Echoes of the Past" 2) Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Drdjlover, Tina! 

A Glimpse into the Past  
by Orrymain 

"Big game tonight, Dannyboy. Don't be late!" 

"Geez, Jack, you'd think it was the Stanley Cup or something." 

"Not quite, but I've been waiting all season to see this hotshot rookie, and this is going to be my only chance. Don't be late." 

"Jack, look, I'll even wait for you on the curb. You won't even have to come up. Okay?" 

"I do love you," Jack teased as he headed for the door of Daniel's office, looking over his shoulder at Daniel who was about to go back to his work. 

"1630 and not a minute later." 

"1630?" 

"Daniel ... 4:30." 

"Oh right," Daniel teased, loving the aggravation he had just caused his lover. 

"You did that on purpose!" 

Daniel grinned wickedly as he returned his focus to his papers. 

"Geeks!" Jack mocked as he exited. 

"I'll get you for that," Daniel threatened the air. 

* * *

"Oh for ... answer the blasted phone ... I'll be on the curb, Jack," the older man spoke sarcastically, slamming the cell phone down onto the seat. 

He pulled into a space, slammed the door of the truck as he exited, and ran into the apartment building where Daniel lived. As he swore under his breath, Jack entered the elevator and pressed the button to the correct floor, muttering as the elevator rose. 

"I can't believe him. I'm going to wring his cute little neck. I'll be waiting for you ... my foot. 4:30 ... I blasted converted the time for him. Traffic is going to be murder now," Jack checked his watch, noting it was 4:52 p.m. 

"You are so dead, Daniel," Jack grumbled as he exited the elevator and began closing the distance to Daniel's apartment. 

Unlocking the door, prepared to follow through on his murderous feelings and drag Daniel out kicking and screaming if he had to, Jack's blood pressure had risen to dangerous levels. Daniel knew how important this game was to Jack, and it irritated the older man that he was sure Daniel was simply lost in some book or old relic and had forgotten all about Jack and the game. 

Full of anger, Jack opened the door and walked in, and was about to bellow out an enraged, "Daniel, get your butt over here" when he was stopped short by the image of his lover, huddled into himself at the corner of the sofa. 

Dressed in his blue sweats, Daniel's back was at the edge of the couch, his knees drawn up with his bare feet on the sofa cushions. On the coffee table were a number of photographs, and Jack saw more scattered on the floor, with a few on the sofa, and even more in Daniel's hands. 

But what had stopped Jack's outburst were the tears running down Daniel's face in full force. Every ounce of anger and rage that Jack had been feeling completely dissipated. All he felt now was love, concern, and a gigantic need to comfort his lover. 

Jack walked to the sofa, moved some of the photos to keep them from harm, and sat down close to Daniel. 

"Ah, Danny," Jack spoke softly as he raised his hands to the wet face of his soul mate, "I love you, Danny, love you so much." 

"Jack?" Daniel only now realized Jack had entered the apartment, a look of confusion on his face as the tears continued to fall. 

"Yeah, that's me. C'mere you, I need you to help me." 

"Help?" 

"Yes. I'm cold and very lonely. I need you here next to me to keep me warm, remind me that I'm never alone when you're here, that you love me no matter what, forever." 

Daniel blinked a couple of times, more tears escaping as he inched over to Jack's tender embrace. Jack kissed his lover on the top of his head, running his fingers through the soft strands of Daniel's shaggy hair, and then, he used the palm of his hand to hold Daniel close to him, massaging gently, his chin up against Daniel's head. 

After a minute or so, Jack glanced towards the photos and asked, "Mary?" 

Daniel nodded, "Film was here when I got home. I took it to the one-hour place. After all these years, they came out really well. I miss them, Jack. Gawd ..." 

Daniel let out another burst of tears. Jack suppressed a few of his own as he gently swayed his lover back and forth, placing kiss after kiss wherever he could. He held Daniel tightly, repeating his words of love over and over. 

Mary McClintock was a former schoolmate and friend of Daniel's mother, Claire. She had volunteered at the New York Museum of Art and had visited with Claire, Melburne and Daniel the morning of the disaster that ended the lives of Daniel's parents. 

Upon their trip to New York City earlier in the year, Jack and Daniel had met Mary at the Museum, and she had told them that she had a roll of undeveloped film that Claire had given her, as well as a few assorted photographs of Claire from college that she thought Daniel might enjoy. Mary had given Daniel her card and told him to contact her if he wanted the film. He had done so not long ago, but had been skeptical the film would actually develop very well. 

Minutes passed and Daniel calmed again as Jack continued to hold him. 

"Sorry ... being silly." 

"No, you're not. These are your parents. There's not one thing silly with missing them or mourning them." 

"But it's been so long ..." 

"Danny, when did you let yourself cry for them?" 

Silence loomed. 

"That's the thing, Love. You never grieved for them. You locked yourself away, and learned how to be an adult at eight years old. The little boy never cried, not for himself, and not for the loss. You're just catching up, that's all. Nothing silly about that at all." 

"Hey," Jack said moving away slightly, leaning forward to get the photographs, "tell me about these." 

Jack picked up all the photos that were on the coffee table, floor, and sofa, and took the ones that Daniel limply held in his hand. He was putting them in order, right side up, not really looking at them, just wanting them to be ready for easy viewing. 

Daniel didn't like the loss of contact from Jack and shifted towards his lover hoping to regain the comfort, but Jack had leaned forward. He had felt safe and loved in Jack's embrace, and right now, he needed that security. 

It wasn't a safety in the physical sense, but of the mental, of grounding himself to the present, of reassuring himself that with Jack, it was okay to visit the past because there was the contentment of the present to come back to. Daniel desperately needed Jack's touch. 

Daniel's breathing became more labored, his anxiety mounting. Silently, he wondered when his connection to Jack had become so intense, but he knew it had. Jack had taught him that it was okay to reach out and touch, that it was normal and acceptable to speak of needs and wants. 

He still had a hard time saying what he selfishly desired, but Jack had a way of cajoling him, of getting Daniel to talk ... but to come out and say "I need this" was still foreign to the younger man ... and yet, as Daniel watched Jack put the photos together, he thought he'd explode if Jack didn't reconnect with him soon. 

Finally, Daniel couldn't stand the distance any longer, even though the distance was only inches. 

"Jack!" 

Jack twisted to look at Daniel and saw a panic he didn't quite understand. 

"I ... I need you," Daniel managed to whisper. 

"Ah, Danny, I'm right here," Jack leaned back, pulling his heart to him. Jack could feel Daniel trembling, sniffles desperately trying to be suppressed as Daniel literally clung to his lover. 

"Shh Love. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere, Danny. I'm all yours." 

Jack continued to quietly hold his love until finally he felt the younger man settle against him calmly, his breathing more normal, the shaking stopped. 

"I'm sorry," Daniel sounded so meek to Jack. 

"Don't you dare. I told you. I love you, Daniel, and whenever you need me, you'd better tell me. So help me, Love, you hold out on me and I'll really make you suffer," Jack tried to both tease and reassure. 

"Yes, but ..." 

"But what?" 

"I don't want you to ... to ..." 

"To what?" 

"Don't let go of me, Jack." 

"Never, not ever." 

Jack shifted slightly to pull Daniel even closer, "Let's look at these." 

"No." 

At first, Jack thought Daniel didn't want to look at the photos but then Daniel moved a little and motioned to where he wanted Jack to go. Jack smiled, knowing what Daniel wanted now. It was a position they had been in once or twice, but was fast becoming a favorite, something apparently Daniel liked as much as Jack did, and that made Jack smile. He hadn't realized until now that Daniel loved this hold as much as Jack did. 

Jack was positioned at the edge of the sofa, somewhat kitty corner, with Daniel leaning his back against Jack's torso. Both of Jack's arms were securely around Daniel's waist, and the young man had his head rested against Jack's left shoulder, leaning slightly against Jack's chin. 

"Geez, I love you," Jack spoke as he placed a kiss on Daniel's head. 

Jack had to be honest with himself. Most of him hated the pain his lover was in, but there was a piece of him that was glad that Daniel was learning to speak up for himself, to express his wants. He knew that it been difficult for his lover, that the little boy was frightened and needing protection, and for once, Daniel was letting Jack protect him, instead of turning into himself and shutting out the pain. 

"Where do you want to start?" 

"I love you, Jack." 

"I know, My Love. I love to hear you say it, though." 

"Look," Daniel said tentatively, taking the photos from Jack, "our last week in Egypt. 

Jack's hands snaked under Daniel's sweatshirt, lovingly caressing Daniel's abdomen as he viewed the photos and listened. 

"Is that you?" 

"See ... told you," Daniel chuckled softly, "Daddy would carry me on his shoulders as he walked around the dig sites." 

Daniel turned to the next photo and Jack laughed loudly, "Danny, you lost your drawers?" 

"It wasn't funny, Jack." 

"Oh, I've got to hear this story." 

Daniel wasn't the least bit tense, so Jack had felt safe with the teasing. The photo was of the an eight-year old Daniel running along the side of the Pyramid, completely naked. The shot was from behind, so it was a "rear" shot, his long hair flopping in the back, and at the edge of the frame was a camel, apparently following him. 

"I was so embarrassed." 

"Is that camel really chasing you?" 

"Yes. Mama was visiting at the tent next door for a minute, and I was hot. I was changing and then there was this big beast ... so it wasn't a beast, it was a camel, but at the time ..." 

"At the time it scared the living daylights out of you." 

"Yes, I ran and ran until I found Daddy. I thought he'd be mad at me for disrupting everything." 

"Was he?" 

"No. He laughed at first, though, until he saw I was really upset and scared." 

"What did he do?" 

"He smiled and picked me up, and told me he loved me and that he'd protect me from everything bad in the world, from all the monsters and beasts, and even camels," Daniel sniffled, recalling the words his father had spoken. 

"Some of the workers chuckled, but Daddy gave them a look, and they stopped, and he carried me all the way back to the tent, and stayed with me until Mama got done. He held me, and told me about when he was a little boy and ran away from spiders." 

"Spiders?" 

"He said he used to be really afraid of spiders, but then he faced his fear, made himself outlast them, pick them up and stuff." 

"At least he didn't make you pick up a camel." 

"No, he made ride one." 

Jack laughed, loving Daniel's parents more and more with each new story he heard. 

"Who took the photo?" 

"I don't know. Mama always left the camera out, and everyone knew she was picture crazy. She always told them to use it, so someone probably saw me and took it. She didn't know what had happened until she came back to the tent and Daddy told her." 

"Hey, look at you, digging so happily. Look at that smile on your face, Danny." 

"I was Daddy's helper. He was testing me." 

"I'll bet you passed with flying colors." 

Daniel blushed, and then they looked at more photos -- of Claire home teaching her son, Claire and Mel tickling Daniel unmercifully in the tent, Daniel hugging some of their friends as they were saying goodbye, Daniel on the camel that had been chasing him, Claire and Mel kissing, one of the three of them in front of a collection of relics from the dig. 

Jack and Daniel spent hours talking about the photos and the memories associated with them. When they were done, it was well after 9 p.m. They hadn't eaten. They hadn't even moved. Daniel had cried more tears than he knew he had, and Jack had shed a few in spite of his intention of not doing so. 

Daniel had put the photos down on the coffee table and was relaxing against Jack. They hadn't said anything in several minutes, but had simply continued to caress and touch. Jack and Daniel often spoke without words, and that's what they were doing now, with their touches. After a while, Daniel fell asleep, turning slightly to nuzzle into Jack's neck. 

Jack smiled at the love and trust Daniel was giving him, knowing no one else in the world could make Daniel feel so safe. 

Jack glanced down at the photos, the top one being the family shot with the relics. Jack remembered making a promise to Daniel's parents not long ago, after the incident with the Gamekeeper. 

Jack whispered, "I'll take care of him for you. I promise ... I'll love and treasure his precious spirit forever. Gawd, I wish you were here for him, but I'll do my best to make him happy. I promise." 

Jack felt a couple of tears escaping from his eyes and wished he could reach for his handkerchief, but his hold on Daniel was just right, and he wouldn't disturb his love just for a handkerchief, but then he heard a small sniffle and Daniel moved, looking up at Jack. Daniel smiled, and reached up and dried Jack's tears with hands. 

He said nothing, but he snuggled even closer to his love, his hand continuing to caress Jack's cheek, to dry the tears. 

Sometime later, both fell asleep, their hold on each other firm. 

* * *

Shortly after midnight, Daniel awoke, and as he moved, Jack woke up, too. 

"Hey there." 

"Hey, I have to ..." Daniel moved quickly. 

"Yeah, me too," Jack chuckled as he rose, "Race ya ..." 

"Jaaaack." 

A few minutes later, their calls to nature taken care of, the two lingered near the kitchen. 

"I'm starved, Danny. I sure hope you have something in here," Jack opened the refrigerator as Daniel checked the cupboards, "Ah, hot dogs -- perfect," Jack pulled them out. 

"Hot dogs," Daniel repeated, "oh Jack, your game. We missed the game. Gawd, I didn't even think about it. I'm so sorry." 

Jack tossed the package of the beef franks onto the counter and approached Daniel, scooping him up. 

"I don't regret missing that game, not one bit. I'd rather be here with you." 

"But that rookie ... you said ..." 

"Danny, he's just a rookie. Next year, he'll be a veteran. He's a guy who plays a sport. He's ... a hobby. You, my beautiful falling star, you're my life. Big difference," Jack leaned in and kissed Daniel on the lips, their kiss soon escalating, their tongues waltzing together as their arms enveloped the other. 

"Thank you, Jack, for loving me so much that you'd ..." 

"Miss a hockey game? Geez, Daniel, that's nothing. I'd do ..." 

"No," Daniel interrupted, "loving me so much that you'd ... promise my parents." 

"Yeah, I sorta figured you heard that. They were good people, Danny. I just figure they'd want to know that I love you, that's all." 

"Jack?" 

"Would you really tell them ... if you could?" 

"Sure -- wouldn't hesitate." 

Daniel leaned into Jack, and the older man knew there was more to come. 

"Tell me what you're thinking." 

"I keep saying that I want to honor them, remember those fun times in the photos, and not ... not the museum." 

"I know. I think you're doing great, too," Jack caressed Daniel's cheek. 

"I need to say goodbye to them, Jack. I never got to say goodbye." 

Jack thought for a moment, trying to figure out what Daniel meant, and then he knew. 

"They didn't let you go to the funeral, did they?" 

Daniel shook his head, "I never saw them again, Jack." 

"Gawd, Danny. Are you telling me the absolute last time was ..." 

Daniel nodded, "Their blood, the ... I saw them ... and they took them away, and I never saw them again. I need to say goodbye, Jack." 

"Danny, do you know where they are buried?" 

"It sounds dumb, but I'm not sure. I should know, Jack, but I don't. Gawd, I don't. They kept me away, and they wouldn't tell me anything, and when I grew up, I just ... I didn't ... gawd, I abandoned them like they abandoned me. I mean ..." 

"Danny, you said exactly what you meant," Jack pulled back and gently pushed the shaggy hair out of Daniel's eyes, "Listen, those feelings aren't going to go away over night, and not even over a couple of months of finally allowing yourself to remember." 

Jack kissed Daniel, a brief tender union of their lips, and spoke again, "Daniel, you were eight years old and you witnessed a nightmare. You didn't understand, and I don't give a fig about your genius, you were a boy, a child, whose parents died in front of your eyes and left you alone, alone in a world where no one else seemed to care. Now, to an eight-year old boy, that's abandonment." 

"I'm not eight years old anymore." 

"Thank goodness for that," Jack laughed briefly, "and that's why you're finally ready, ready to face the sadness, the pointlessness, and ... I don't know, Danny, just ready to let go, but My Love, you have to let them let go, too." 

Jack took a breath, "I studied those pictures last night. Your parents. I love your parents. They loved you so much. It's obvious from their eyes, from the stories you tell. They know what happened, wherever they are. We ... talked about that at the museum. Let them go. Let them find peace, too. The one thing I know, as ... a parent, as long as your child is in pain, so are you." 

Daniel looked down, his hands holding steady over Jack's heart, and then he looked up, "So, I have to be at peace, so that they can be a peace, wherever they are." 

Jack nodded, "You free each other. Face your demons, and they can face theirs." 

"They don't have any demons." 

"You wanna bet? Danny, you don't think those two loving, caring people who made you aren't in some kind of ... nightmare ... knowing they left you behind, alone? And don't you know ... Danny, listen to me," Jack raised his hand to beneath Daniel's chin, forcing his lover to look into his eyes, "don't you know they've always been with you, loving you, trying to steer you to find your own peace? They're here, Love. I believe that as sure I know that I love you." 

The tears were flowing again as Daniel's blue eyes stared deeply into Jack's brown eyes. Daniel wanted to believe. He wanted to let go. He wanted his parents to be at rest. 

"Jack. Help me." 

"That's what I'm here for, so ... we do a little research, okay? We'll start with New York and then branch out. We can do it on our own, or bring in the computer whiz ... that's up to you." 

"Sam?" 

"You know the Captain and computers. She'd probably find what we need in half the time, but ... we can do it ourselves, too. It's up to you, Love." 

"And when we find them?" 

"We go, say hello, let them know you're okay. I'll say hi, and thank them for trusting you to me, and then we'll say goodbye, and maybe return for visits from time to time ... that's up to you, too." 

"We?" 

"No way you're going without me." 

"Promise?" 

"Cross my heart," Jack laughed, kissing Daniel again. 

Daniel let out a very long, loud breath of release. He felt as if a part of him had just been freed. He trusted Jack, and while he knew this visit to his parents wouldn't be easy, he'd get through it, and be better for it, all because Jack would be there, loving him. 

"They'd like you, Jack." 

"Heck, they'd love me. How could they not with all my lovable traits." 

Daniel pulled back and smiled, "Like bellowing like a bear?" 

"And nagging you to eat!" 

"And Mother Henning me like I'm a two-year old?" 

"And being charming, sexy, and smart enough to know a good thing when I see it." 

"And threatening half of the universe if they even look at me?" 

"For loving you more than life itself." 

"They'd love you." 

"I hope so." 

"I do ... so freakin' much. No one would believe this, Jack ... you and me ... like this." 

"I don't care. Heaven help me, Danny, I don't. I only care that you love me, and that you let me take care of you. That's a privilege I take very seriously." 

"Privilege," Daniel sighed with a small smile. 

"Privilege and an honor. You're the ultimate, Daniel Jackson. You may not always believe that, and I may want to you strangle you sometimes, but you are ... perfection ... beautiful, beautiful perfection to me." 

"Jaaack," Daniel blushed, "men aren't supposed to be beautiful." 

"Tough. Get used to it!" 

"But Jaaammmmmmmph..." 

Jack decided that between the emotions of reviewing the family photographs, and the intensity of the decision to seek out the grave sites of Daniel's parents, that it was time for a bit of physical nurturing. They had spoken enough words. 

He was still hungry for those hot dogs, but his mind decided, "franks or Daniel? I'll take Daniel," and with that, Jack quieted his lover, adjourned them to the bedroom, where they spent the next two hours engaged in nothing but physical communication that ended with only with the words, "Gawd, I saw stars again." 

Jack never again thought about the hockey game he had missed, not seriously. He sometimes teased his lover about it, but Daniel knew that Jack loved him. Besides, Daniel would surprise Jack with tickets to the Stanley Cup that year, and that pretty much took care of any complaints. 

Their future was still uncertain, and both knew they had their share of ups and downs to face, but what was certain ... was that Jack and Daniel were in love, and being together, gave both a peace they had never known before. Both hoped that peace would go on forever! 

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~   
  


* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Orrymain


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